May Synchroblog

Glen: “Since our stories can have a profound impact upon one another, I thought I would ask you a little about the latest chapter of your story.”

So, for the May synchroblog, I am going to keep it simple and real. I hope you will join in. Let’s post May 5^th. Please, remember to link back here. Anybody can join in!

• How are you doing?
• What are you doing?
• What are you learning?
• What are you dreaming about?

Thanks for asking Glen. These are such simple questions, but they’re big, very big questions.

How are you doing?

Well…not bad, although the first thing that happened on the inside when I read the question was; I translated it to, ‘How do you measure up spiritually?’ So I guess I’m still wrestling with a performance…’thing’.

I visited a church this Sunday, for the first time since before the Christmas holidays. It was very moving to be in a room full of people who love God. The service was simple and Christ-focused. I felt as though Father was giving me water in the desert.

 But this brought on even more questions, one being; what IS it about gathering together that is so essential? & how can something so beautiful also have within itself, the potential to create a super-natural disaster strong enough to confuse my faith?

This was my experience, I got confused and ran as fast as I could to get close to Jesus again. I wrestle with fear because I don’t want to lose my way again, and church is hard for me. I am on the border, when it comes to fellowship with others, but I am desiring to keep moving forward and am determined not to get ’stuck’ here.

What are you doing?

 

Hmmm…

My husband and I have been working on using less words and more action in our faith. Jesus cares about the poor, He didn’t just talk about it, He lived out His love and compassion for people. We are attempting to follow His example.

 

What are you learning?

I am learning that Jesus can teach me everything I need to know… and that He wants to teach me…because He loves me.

I am considering the relevance of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42 

Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and listened to Him… Martha ran around like a chicken with her head cut off and told Jesus what to do…    (“…Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me …”) 

LOL, sounds like my prayer-life at the height of my performance-ridden-ness. He’s teaching me about that.

And… I’m learning that even though I have bad days, when I am uncertain about many things, I know Him better than I thought I did, that I’m not a ‘rebel’, a ‘backslider’, ‘contentious’, or ‘spiritually immature’ because I disagree with many popular teachings that are showing up on the doorsteps of our churches. God isn’t mad at me.

What are you dreaming?

This is the one question I don’t have an answer for…not yet anyway. I found Greg’s synchroblog tonight, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to need another day to ponder.

 

ummm…?

 

So…I read an article today, in (un-named pathetic prophetic magazine).

 

I don’t know what came over me.

 

It was like trying not to watch the scariest part of the movie and not being able to help myself.

 

I guess it was a kind of test, to see what might happen on the inside as I read what used to be part of my regular ‘spiritual diet’.

 

I was, for a season, very curious about the upper class ‘big-gun’ preachers and teachers. At first because I really wanted to know everything I could about Jesus, but it wasn’t long before I realized there are plenty of people who can tell you about Him, who don’t know Him at all.

 

I suppose what I’d like to wrestle next, is the desire within to slap the next person who uses the word of God to make stuff up, so that people like me will buy the magazine and keep the market going.

 

This leaves me with a dilemma. God knows I want to slap someone, and He won’t let me. In fact, He doesn’t even want me to want to slap anyone.  

 

Perhaps this is a cry for help…thank you for listeningJ

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus is enough.

How many times has the enemy come to us and tried to convince us that Jesus isn’t enough?  How many times have you heard these words;   “Sure you’re saved but…   ,”Yes Jesus loves you but…”  knowing you were about to be instructed in the ways of ‘higher-christianity’. 

Jesus is enough.

“Yes but…”

Jesus is enough.

“But don’t you want to be in His end-times army?”

Jesus is enough.

“But you have to grow up in the things of God”

Jesus is enough.

“Don’t miss your destiny!”

Jesus is enough.

The enemy wants to make sure you think the finished work of the cross…isn’t really finished, that what started with Jesus…ends with you doing the right things and making yourself  right  for Him.

If we receive another gospel, fear of falling short, not measuring up, not being ready etc… takes center stage in our hearts and minds. What Jesus has done takes a back-seat to what we must now do to maintain our place at the Fathers table.

The invitations have already gone out. What we need to understand I think is, there really isn’t any fine print at the bottom that reads; ‘BYOR’   (bring your own righteousness)

Jesus is enough.

 

STUCK

Every time I sit down to start this blog…I get stuck.

So I’ll start there. I’m stuck.

Stuck between knowing I did the right thing by leaving my church, and well… feeling guilty and unsure.

 

My heart tells me I’m okay, my head plays games with me. In truth, I really believe I’ve been ‘programmed’ to doubt myself in pretty much every way. So here I am…

I haven’t been to my church in a couple of months and I have to say this is a lot harder than I though it would be. I don’t miss leaving on Sunday afternoons with the feeling that; a) I’ve just been told by numorous people that they love me, knowing there’s been little tangible evidence that there’s any truth to that at all. Or;  b) “what was that sermon about? and what’s wrong with me that I feel like a visitor from some other country?”

I don’t miss that at all. But I do miss the real friendships I did have there. I miss those authentic moments where you just know that (for that moment anyway)…people are saying what they mean and meaning what they say.

The trouble is, that doesn’t last and no one’s talking about it.

Over a decade in the same church, you would think I’d have some understanding about what it was I was doing there. Some clarity, but I don’t. Over time I pray that Christ teaches me things He wants me to know, and un-teaches me the things I’ve adopted as ‘truth’, that aren’t.

A journey back into reality in Christ, with Christ  And grace…lots of grace.

I think I’ll have to start with how I got stuck in the first place. And who on earth have I been listening to?  The gOD of my understanding turned out to be a task master with rules that are impossible to follow and what’s more…he never told me what the rules were….until I broke them. And of course they change all the time.  It’s been fun.

This gOD has my friends, took over and won’t leave. So I had to. 

time for another coffee, an extra-large double double?  :)

 

THE GOD OF MY UNDERSTANDING

The god of my understanding left with scroll in hand; contract broken.

I’m a new blogger. Lots to think and write about…still waiting for more words though…time for a coffee.

Perhaps the words will be here when I get back.

much better…